ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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