This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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