I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
