I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
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