in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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