you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize