Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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