listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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