hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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