You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
