I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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