May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
