i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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