careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
