Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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