Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
