just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
