She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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