I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
