I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
