I am in a vortex of obligation.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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