i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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