why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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