Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
