Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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