the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
