i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
