i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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