I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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