I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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