My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
