In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
