After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
