Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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