): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
