You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
