who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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