he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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