jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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