I must be too annoying 4 u.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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