just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
