Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize