I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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