Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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