I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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