He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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