It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
