but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
