Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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