better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
