Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
