I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
