he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
