I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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