I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
