in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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