dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
