Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You pole danced in your parka.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I had your ass I would rule the world
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
