this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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