hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
a search helicopter?!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
