"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
