I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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