I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
